By Alla Renee Bozarth Ph.D
For these folks operating throughout the heartbreak of grief, writer Bozarth deals clever and comforting recommendation.
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Additional resources for A Journey Through Grief: Gentle, Specific Help to Get You Through the Most Difficult Stages of Grieving
And, there are ways to bring about healing which are not necessarily painful. At the very beginning of the grief process, become aware of ways in which you unnecessarily hurt yourself more. For instance, when you hold yourself in, choking back tears, tightening facial and throat muscles, swallowing down surging emotions, or suffocating feelings, it hurts and it doesn't hurt good-it hurts bad. It hurts in the way a physical wound would hurt if, instead of responding to the pain and bleeding, you ignored it or allowed dirt and gravel to get into it and then, even worse, if you actually ground the dirt and gravel down deep into the wound.
Your appetite and sleeping patterns may be erratic, or the opposite of what they normally are. You may feel drugged without having taken any drugs, or have a feeling of not being in sync Page 8 with your own body, a looseness or coming apart from the inside, as if your body were a bell and you were the clanger, moving back and forth and around and sometimes even touching yourself from the inside of your skin. Concentration on intense, internal processes may make it difficult to navigate in the physical world.
Most of us are living through grief or grieving through life much of the time, for life is conditioned by small and significant daily losses. On the other side of grief, we can discover the joy and gratitude that come with new and renewed zestfor every loss creates a space and in that space, something new and wonderful may happen. Our natural state of well-being involves both the grieving and the enjoying inherent in any moment of loss, with its change and chance for Page 26 renewal. And our habitual greed for more of what we lose is healed, moment by moment, by the practice of gratitude for the gifts of every day, of every moment, and of all our relationships.
A Journey Through Grief: Gentle, Specific Help to Get You Through the Most Difficult Stages of Grieving by Alla Renee Bozarth Ph.D